CLOates
How Will You Cope?
A few years ago near the
end of my brother's final illness, an event sensitized me to the issue of
physicians and nurses caring for patients and their families without becoming
debilitated themselves in the process. My brother had been in the
hospital for about a week with multiple systems failing--congestive heart
failure, septicemia, and the list went on and on--when his physician team
determined that there was nothing more they could usefully do for him. It was
time to transfer him from hospital to hospice. Reluctantly, my mom and I
agreed, and soon my brother was being prepared for transfer to the
hospice facility across town.
Since my brother had been
extraordinarily well cared for over the preceding week, I approached two of his
nurses as we were leaving the Intensive Care Unit to thank them and ask them to
pass along thanks to the other staff who had been very
caring and particularly gracious with a sometimes-difficult patient. A
couple of sentences into my statement, I was overcome by emotion and was unable
to speak further. Seeing my plight, one of the nurses stepped forward and
gave me a hug whose intensity and duration surprised me a bit. It was
more what I would have expected from my daughter than from someone I had known
a few days, even a few days in very difficult circumstances. I
really needed a hug then, and it was very much appreciated, but it set me
to wondering how the nurse would be able to doff her stethoscope at
the end of the day and go on about her life. Could she sympathize, even
empathize, with a patient's family at the level she obviously did and not be
adversely affected?
I don't know the answer to
that question, and I certainly don't claim any expertise beyond a bit of
insight that comes from being a family member of a terminally ill patient
on several occasions. I bring the issue up because many of my students
will face the question, probably sooner rather than later, in their nursing or
other health-related careers. I'll have more to say about this topic in
the coming days, though probably it'll be more questions than answers.
Your comments are most assuredly welcomed.